Numbers 16 - Numbers 25 (Fun Wilderness Stories)

When it comes to talking donkies, the Bible is on the cutting edge, with the movie industry in a distant second.
16.
Standoff at the tent of meeting. God comes up with such creative ways to kill the bad guys.
17.
Sometimes it's a good thing to fear God a little. It keeps you respectful.
18.
So the priests are provided for but are also expected to give a tithe of the tithe they receive. God it.
19.
Cleansed by a sprinkling...sounds like a good Lutheran baptism.
20.
It's good to follow God's instructions closely. He doesn't like a lot of improv. I'm just saying.
21.
Bronze snake lifted up on a pole: see Jesus lifted up on a cross.
22.
Ah, nothing like a good talking donkey narrative. I like to tell people that I get my speaking confidence from knowing that if God can talk through an ass, He should be able to talk through me.
23.
Things not exactly working according to Balak's plans. Funny how that happens when you oppose God.
24.
I'm guessing Balak regretted getting Balaam involved.
25.
Today's lesson (but probably not in Sunday School): Do not engage in sexual immorality with idolaters or while you are both engaged in the act you may become a person-kabob courtesy of a spear.
Well, I think that's a good note to end on for today.

Numbers 6 - Numbers 15 (10 were bad and 2 were good)

6.
The Aaronic benediction. See, that's why we don't fast-forward through these chapters.
Plus this is the chapter teenage boys use to prove to their parents that God wants them to have long hair.
7.
I wonder if those offerings were tax-deductible...
...God liked them, anyway.
8.
25-50. Not a bad length for a career of service at the Tent of Meeting.
9.
God let the people know when to travel.
10.
God likes trumpet music. I always knew He preferred brass.
Trumpets are also good when you're marching around the wilderness, I guess.
11.
God doesn't like whiners.
Moses didn't like whiners, either. He and God had that in common.
The Israelites liked to whine.
You want meat? I'll give you meat! I'll give you meat till it comes out your nose! Gotta love God's humor.
God has long arms. It's nice to be back into the narrative. This is far more interesting.
Um, quail 3 feet deep a day's walk in any direction? Yeah, that's a lot of quail.
12.
Moses: the most humble man on earth. Not a bad title. Hard to give yourself, though.
Moses was pretty special; God said so.
Don't speak against people God says are special...or you might get leprosy.
13.
12 men went to spy on Canaan; 10 were bad and 2 were good. What did they see when they spied on Canaan? 10 were bad and 2 were good. (Come on, tell me you learned this song in Sunday School.)
The grapes were big there.
So are the people.
Joshua and Caleb trusted. God likes that.
14.
Who wants to willingly go back into slavery? Seems like a bad idea.
Joshua and Caleb were smart; don't rebel, you fools.
...and the doubters ruined it for everyone. Welcome to 40 years in the wilderness. Great job, everyone!
Doing it on their own was also a very bad idea.
I love how dense the Israelites were. I read these chapters, and even I get frustrated with them. Oh, and I see myself in them. And you.
15.
Sinning defiantly = blaspheming the Lord. Not a good idea.

Numbers 1 - Numbers 5 (More Details.)

1.
Moses liked geneology. Good to see Jesus' line of ancestry...a little dry otherwise.
It was, however, a lot of people to herd around the wilderness for 40 years.
Oh, and the census got them ready in case there was a draft.
If numbers of the other tribes were any indication, there were also a lot of (Levite) priests.
2.
It's good to be organized, I guess. It's hard enough to coordinate 2 vehicles on a roadtrip. I'm guessing a couple million Israelites was a taller order.
3.
22,000 Levite priests (except the kids too young to serve). Seems adequate.
4.
God wanted people to take good care of His stuff.
5.
God takes adultery seriously. Very seriously.

Leviticus 21 - 27 (I keep missing days!)

Now that's one bad lookin' priest.
21.
Priests aren't supposed to marry prostitutes. See, the Bible is practical!
22.
So God doesn't want the leftovers. It's like just because He delivered His people, He can expect their response to be holiness.
23.
God likes to party. Well, He likes feasts, anyway.
24.
Meant to keep people from trying to get 2 eyes for an eye, not that you have to take an eye for an eye.
25.
God owns the land, not you.
Same with people.
26.
God wants us to 'live long and prosper'...because He wants us to be obedient.
He also wants us to confess our sins when we mess up.
27.
God wants us to tithe.

Leviticus 16 - Leviticus 20

Hard to know what image goes with these chapters, so I picked the first image that comes up on Google when you do an image search for "Leviticus." Enjoy.
16.
Scapegoats.
Atonement once a year vs. one Atonement for eternity? I'll take the latter.
17.
Goat demons? Huh? These are the things you miss by fastforwarding through Leviticus.
18.
No incest. Good call.
Pretty clear on other unnatural things, too.
19.
Leave some food for the poor.
Love your neighbor as yourself. Someone smart said that once. He said it summarized the whole 2nd table of the law.
Don't exploit foreigners. Hmm...
20.
Spends a lot of time on sexual sins, almost like they were a problem that needed to be addressed. Some things don't change.
Be holy.

Leviticus 6 - Leviticus 15 (Call it "10 a day Bible" just this once)

You gotta love the pictures you can find on Google images.
6.
Aaron's priestly handbook. It's pretty long and extensive. Kinda like the 'agenda' I use, except mine has a lot less about burning the offerings.
7.
Back in those days, the breast meat was considered inferior. God got the fat; the priests got the white meat. Made for healthier priests, though, probably.
8.
Ordinations were more exciting back then. Now we have cake and punch.
9.
God liked their offerings. Consuming fire and His presence: had to be pretty cool. Good reaction, too: shout for joy and fall on your face.
10.
Nadab and Abihu: Exhibit A in taking your role as priests seriously. Pay attention, or God will consume you with fire. Ouch.
Hmm...priests couldn't drink back then. No comment.
11.
Fish, good. Lobster, bad. Cows, delicious. Pigs, nope. Predatory birds, bad. Other birds, good. Locusts, crickets and grasshoppers, good. Other wingy things, detestable (no kidding!). Don't eat your cats and dogs (pawed). Don't eat skinks (don't know what that is, but it sounds too close to skunks, so I'm okay with that).
These food things are fascinating to me. It stinks for our members who are at the Jewish retirement home and have to smuggle bacon and cheeseburgers in.
I'm glad Christians can eat bacon and seafood, and especially seafood wrapped in bacon. I'm hungry now.
p.s.- The point of all this is the "be holy, because God is holy."
12.
Circumcision. The things we do to our babies. Beats trying to convince a 10-year-old, though.
13.
Hmm, priests got to play doctor, too. Dealing with rashes = not in my job description.
'Unclean' people have to live alone. Some things don't change.
14.
You notice that in some ways there is a lot more connection made between physical and spiritual disease. Maybe in some ways this is valid, maybe in some ways not. However, we try to separate these things altogether. What do you think of this?
15.
Good thing there are a lot of doves and pigeons in this world, because it would have taken a lot of them just for all the sacrifices.
Not exactly a profound statement, but be happy I'm trudging through this stuff.

Leviticus 1 - Leviticus 5 (Burning Stuff)

This child was later punished for breaking the fourth commandment.
1.
Get your weak animals out of here. You're in God's house now!
God likes the smell of cooking meat. Take that, vegans.
2.
From the description, I think God wants pancakes. Must be a morning offering.
Trivia: IHOP sells more steaks than any other restaurant. Cooked meat and pancakes. God must really love IHOP. I know I do.
3.
God gets the fat. There's probably a lesson in there somewhere. Ask Cain & Abel.
4.
Ignorance is apparently not an excuse for sin. That's unfortunate.
God wants sinners to repent.
5.
I gotta be honest. I'm having trouble focusing too closely on any of these details. Jesus' sacrifice really simplified this process. Tough for Him; really, really good for us.

Exodus 36 - Exodus 40 (God's Glory)

Not only was the pillar of fire at night a good reminder of God's glory, but it also eliminated the need for costly GPS systems.
36.
See? Men care about curtains. Well, once in history, anyway.
37.
Acacia wood trivia (what did we ever do before wikipedia?): listed as an ingredient in both Fresca and Barq's root beer, Full Throttle energy drink, and Altoids mints. May be the type of tree the burning bush was. It's also a thorny plant (many people plant it under windows for home security) and may have been what Jesus' crown of thorns was fashioned from. Okay, I made that last part up, but that would be cool, right?
38.
Back in my days at the county assessor's office (think: tax collectors and sinners), we would grade a house based on "condition" and "quality." I'm thinking this was one high-quality tent. That's all I've got.
39.
Aaron and the priests didn't wear clerical collars?! The nerve! If my uniform included lots of gold sheeting, I'd be all over it. Where's my gold breastpiece? Seriously.
40.
Church architecture and design at its finest.
Boom. Exodus done. That didn't take long. On to Leviticus.

Exodus 31 - Exodus 35 (Idols)

He took what they handed him and made it into an idol cast in the shape of a calf.
31.
Craftsmen in your congregation who use their skills to make furnishings for your church: good. Craftsmen in your congregation who use their skills to make idols: bad.
God takes rest seriously. Rest, or die. Your choice.
32.
God is merciful. He only changes His mind when it is from judgment to kindness, never the other way around.
I wonder what drinking gold does to the digestive tract.
Good job, Aaron. Way to shift the blame. Very priestly.
33.
Repentance. Good.
Moses was friends with God. I like that.
No one can see God's face and live, but Moses got the 'holy moon.' Quite an honor.
34.
This self-description by God is awesome.
God wants monogamy. He doesn't want part of our hearts; He wants all our heart, soul, strength, and mind. I'm convicted.
35.
Nicest. Tent. Ever. I bet it didn't fit into a trunk very well, though.

Exodus 26 - Exodus 30

Tents are not fun when it rains. Good thing they were in the desert.
26.
Famous OT tent: Tabernacle. Famous NT tent: Incarnate Word of God (Jesus). Famous post-NT tent: Your body.
27.
Don't skimp on the furnishings. Five-star all the way.
28.
I wonder if I need a 'breastpiece of decision.' I can't decide.
Good priests always wear clean underwear to church. Write that down.
29.
Lamb blood on ears, thumbs, and toes. Let me know if you figure out the symbolism of those places.
My ordination was somewhat less extravagant than this.
God dwells with His people at their place of worship.
30.
Atonement. Jesus might have something to say about that later.

Exodus 21 - Exodus 25 (Bylaws.)

21.
Slavery, killing, disability due to blows to the head, just covering the "eye for an eye" stuff. Someone told me recently that this probably had more to do with people's tendency to over-retaliate. Makes sense to me.
22.
You know, if our tendency was to treat our neighbor fairly, God probably wouldn't have to make all these stipulations. Even so, we're always looking for loopholes to the things He doesn't specifically adress.
Sorcery, idolatry, beastiality...no, no, no! (And you should know this without having to be told.)
Take care of widows and orphans. The Bible says that a lot.
23.
"You want Me on your side. Trust Me."
24.
"We'll do everything the Lord has said." Famous last words.
"We will obey." Mmm-hmm.
God's glory = pretty spectacular.
25.
God's promise: I will dwell with you. Awesome.

Exodus 16 - Exodus 20 (Delivered. Now What?)

The Watering Hole Special of the Day (and week...and decade): Manna and Quail.
16.
Every man's dream: sitting around a pot of meat.
God likes it when people follow His instructions. It shows they trust Him. Or, as Carey Underwood would say, "Jesus, take the wheel." (God said it better.)
Manna: "What is it?" -- Reminds me of one of my favorite Communion hymns: 'What is this bread?'
17.
Thirsty people = grumbling people. Some things don't change.
18.
Moses was a workaholic. Delegation is goood.
19.
Treasured possession, kingdom of priests, holy nation. Not a bad status.
20.
The 10 Commandments start first with what God did for His people. It's almost like our obedience is motivated by the faithfulness and love He showed to us first.
1-3: love God.
4-10: love each other.
Summary of the commandments: don't be a selfish jerk.

Exodus 11 - Exodus 15 (Peace Out, Pharaoh.)

This is a computer-generated image of what the Red Sea crossing might have looked like. It's not the actual image...there weren't satellites back then. I'm surprised you didn't know that.
11.
How can God do these terrible things to anyone, like killing their firstborn children? Because the world stands condemned apart from faith in God (John 3). If you don't think this bothered God, why do you think He sent His Son?
12.
Passover = shadow of deliverance that was to come through Jesus.
-Male lamb without defect.
-Slaughtered.
-Blood causes God's destruction to pass by.
You get the idea.
2 million people traveling together. Have you ever tried to caravan with multiple vehicles? It would be like that, only without the vehicles and multiplied by 2 million. Yikes.
13.
God was with them.
14.
"It'd be better than dying in the desert." Not the last time they'd say that. Boooooo.
Stand firm. Or, as they like to say in the Bible: Gird your loins.
Be still (see Ps. 46).
...all of Pharaoh's army did the dead man's float.
15.
Awesome song. God=salvation.
God's nostril blows can separate waters. I love the language of the Bible.
Biblical worship included tambourines and dancing; I'm just saying.
Listen to God, follow Him, and you'll be okay.
...fat chance...

Exodus 6 - Exodus 10 ('Let my people go.' -Charlton Heston...but Moses first)

Little known fact: what made the plague of frogs so irritating was that they all carried banjos and played "The Rainbow Connection" nonstop, day and night.

6.

Moses, nobody cares if you can't speak well. Just follow the script.

One more time, Moses, just do it. Seriously.

7.

Fine, Aaron, you do it.

God's snake rocked. They should've listened...but they didn't.

Bloody river. Nice one. They should've listened...but they didn't.

8.

Froggy plague; very creative. Frogs in the ovens, frogs in your bed, frogs playing banjo. Ah, finally a little response from Pharaoh.

Ooh, he took it back. That's cheap.

Gnat time. Joba Chamberlain would approve (baseball reference; look it up - midges in Cleveland).

Now the flies. No flies in Goshen, though. Nice; a little foretaste of deliverance. Well played.

Ooh, another takeback. That'll cost you.

9.

Bringing out the big guns now. Hit 'em in the wallet (or money purse...or whatever the Egyptians used).

Boils. Not cool. Lots and lots of boils. Not pleasant.

Now it's time to flex some muscle. Let there be hail. Just the insurance premiums alone had to be plague enough to bring about a little repentance. Again, a takeback.

10.

Locusts. Those things creep me out when they're flying at you. Not much left. A little fake repentance and another takeback. This guy's pretty dense (good thing we're never insincere, right? Right?).

Darkness. Alaska-style. Drives you crazy, I hear. Bad for the Vitamin D levels. Pharaoh's had enough...almost...

(Stay tuned.)

Exodus 1 - Exodus 5 (And Then Came Moses)

1.
Nothing makes friends like reducing people to forced labor.
Even better is when you kill their babies.
p.s.-God doesn't like it, either.
2.
Moses, one of the great leaders of the Old Testament was...a murderer. And you think God can't use a sinner like you?
Have you noticed that a lot of people so far in the Bible have picked up wives at the well? What, the bar and the internet weren't working?
God hears our groans and remembers His people. Whenever God "remembers His people" in the Bible, good things happen (for His people, anyway...not so much for their enemies).
3.
God calls. Moses' answer: "Here I am!" Good answer, Moses.
"Who am I..." (v. 11)? Nobody, that's who.
Who is God? 'I AM.' Works for me.
4.
Moses was also a poor public speaker. He was also a little reluctant at times. He had lots of reasons why he wasn't up to the task.
So God got mad and told him to suck it up.
The people believed (at least until the going got tough).
5.
Sometimes things get worse before God makes them better.

Genesis 46 - Genesis 50 (Strangers in a Strange Land)

46.
God speaks. Proper response: "Here I am." Nice work, Jacob.
Time to check out from the Promised Land for a while until there's more of you. You'll be back.
Going to Egypt: 66 family members. Coming from Egypt: 2 million plus. Now that's what I call procreation.
47.
Joseph turns the Egyptians into share-croppers.
48.
Israel's wife: buried at Bethlehem. Jesus' mom: gives birth at Bethlehem. Probably coincidental, but still interesting.
Man, the Bible messes with birth order a lot. As a youngest child, I'm all for it.
49.
Israel's last will and testament, with a little prophecy thrown in for good measure.
50.
Awesome words by Joseph: Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of lives.

Genesis? Check. One down, 65 to go. That didn't take so long.

Genesis 41 - Genesis 45 (Walking Like the Egyptians)

41.
Wait, a foreigner with all that power? Yeah, and I suppose we'd elect a President who spent part of his life in Indonesia. What's that? We did? Oh. That's cool.
42.
Jacob's sons are not portrayed as rocket scientists. There was a lot of standing around and looking at each other that went on.
Joseph, like any true brother, really messed with those guys.
43.
Real men have a good cry every once in a while...in private...and then they compose themselves and move on.
44.
It's amazing how brothers who fought like crazy when they were younger can grow up and get along. For instance, I haven't been shot by a BB gun or had my teeth knocked out by a brother in almost 20 years.
45.
Whoa. Those guys got punked!
(Actually, they all got delivered.)
Parting shot across the bow: 'Don't quarrel on the way!' Nice.

Genesis 36 - Genesis 40 (Technicolor Dreamcoats)

No wonder his brothers sold him.
36.
Um, that's a lot of names. Esau = father of Edomites. Let's move on.
37.
Joseph tattled. Probably for good reasons, but still. Nobody likes a tattle-tale. Keep that in mind when they throw him down a well.
Also, nobody likes a brother who has dreams about his brothers bowing down to him. See above.
Throw your brother down a cistern and sit down for a meal. All in a day's work.
"Let's not kill our brother; that would be bad. Let's just sell him into slavery; that happens all the time." Now that's some good rhetoric.
A consensus does not a correct decision make. Say this in your best Yoda voice.
38.
God has every right to kill wicked people. Scary, huh? It's almost like He wants us to repent of our sins.
Bad track record for Judah's sons. Both of them put to death by God for their wickedness. Probably didn't make the Christmas card.
Nothing good comes from sleeping with prostitutes, either. See these life lessons the Bible teaches? Learn from the mistakes of others. It's probably also not a good idea to dress up like a prostitute to get impregnated by your father-in-law. Then again, if I have to tell you this, you might have other issues.
39.
Also, don't sleep with your boss' wife. Nice work, Joseph.
Still, sometimes life's just not fair.
40.
Also nice to those in the service industries, and maybe they'll be nice to you. Or at least they won't spit in your food. Miss Manners has nothing on Genesis.
You've gotta love God's creativity in weaving the Messianic line through time. If His hand weren't in it, it could have been broken about a million different times. It's kinda like my life. I've had more near-death experiences than I can count or remember. A few stick in my mind. When I look back, I realize what it means that God is an "ever-present" help in trouble. He didn't just make me; He sustains me...constantly. I'm convinced that otherwise I'd be dead a hundred times over by now. I'm just saying.

Genesis 31 - Genesis 35 (Brothers Don't Shake Hands...)

31.

When God speaks to you, always respond "Here I am." You can't go wrong there.

Rachel, who liked to worship pagan gods. Jacob, the repeat deceiver. Yep, Jesus, these are your Great Great...Great Grandparents!

Grandma Rachel: also a liar.

32.

Jacob wasn't a lost cause. At least he knew this: when in trouble, pray for God to save you.

Some of us figuratively wrestle with God; Jacob physically did so. Either way, God could overpower us in an instant if He desired. Sometimes it's almost like He wants us to wrestle with things... Hmmm...

33.

Tips from Jacob: When you might be in danger, always use your wives and children as human shields.

34.

Genesis 34: a case study showing that greed and thinking with your "circumcised member" do not usually lead to positive results. Also a lesson that ruthless vengeance is ugly.

35.

Name changes in the Bible: good things. Besides, Jacob hadn't exactly earned the best reputation for his old name.

Genesis 26 - Genesis 30 ("The Jake")

Know what the cool thing about this blog is? On any other blog I've ever written, every time I went to the work of putting up a new post, I wondered whether it was worth the time and effort. I've never had any idea how many people are reading or not reading. On this one? Doesn't matter. I'm still benefitting from the process and spending time in the Word. Even if I'm the only one who's edified, I'm still edified.

26.

Wouldn't it be nice in a famine (read: Biblical economic recession) God would just speak to us and say, "You can stay here, and I will still bless you with all you need to survive. Don't worry; I've got your back." Oh, wait, He pretty much does say those things. We're just not listening.

Caution! Nerdy Hebrew Note! -- The Hebrew word for "listen" is also the same word for "hear" and "obey." You know, like when God tells us something, He not only expects us to hear Him, He also expects us to obey Him. Once you catch your breath, you can resume reading.

Isaac stole a page out of Father Abraham's playbook with the ol' "she's my sister" line. This stupidity had to become a running joke at family reunions eventually, right?

Lahoi Roi's sister beer, once the microbrewery is up and running? Sheba (as in Beer Sheba). I can now imagine the money literally growing on trees.

"Beer Sheba: The Queen of Beers."

"Beer Lahoi Roi: Making Men into Great Nations Since 2100 B.C."

27.

As they say in "My Big Fat Greek Wedding": "The husband is the head of the family, but the wife is the neck, and the neck turns the head." Rebekah was definitely a neck.

eu de Esau - "smells like a field that the Lord has blessed"

28.

I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go...I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you. --Jesus said something kinda like that, too.

29.

My Bible's text notes say Leah was either veiled or it was too dark to tell she wasn't Rachel. Let's play a game called "Really?" Really, Jacob? You just spent 7 years working so that she could be your wife and you couldn't tell it wasn't her? Really? You were in love with her from day 1 but didn't notice on your wedding night? Really? Really? Really.

My intuition tells me that Jacob was another in a long line of family members for whom a little too much wine led them to some poor decision-making. Convince me otherwise.

(to the tune of 500 miles by the Proclaimers):

I would work for seven years,

and I would work for seven more,

just to be the man who worked for 14 years

to fall down at your door.

30.

This is why history is important, so you don't make the same mistakes of grandpa. Lessons so far today: drinking too much impairs judgment with horrible implications, and taking reproductive matters into your own hands never ends well. Good thing we know better today, right?

Biblical pick-up lines: "You must sleep with me. I have hired you with my son's mandrakes." There are some things that will never cross the cultural divide.

Genesis 21 - Genesis 25 (Abraham's Faithfulness)

21.
There is bad laughter (disbelieving God) and good laughter (joy in the Lord). Sarah experienced both. I guess having a child when you are elderly can have that effect.
Ah, the under-appreciated "Feast of Weaning." You don't see these things celebrated these days like they used to be.
The story of Hagar and Ishmael is a good example of God not punishing a child for his parents' mistakes.
22.
God called Abraham. Abraham's immediate response was "Here I am." It worked this way with Isaiah later, too. Jonah? Not so much. "Here I am" is a good response whenever God calls you. It's called willingness. Try it.
Hmm...hard to be willing when God's telling you to kill your kid. That would take some faithfulness...
...especially when you have 3 days to think about it...
...and when your kid starts asking questions...
"God will provide." Good answer, Abe. Guess what? He did.
If you're Abraham, when you get home, do you tell Sarah what happened? Maybe some things should just stay between a father and a son. The book didn't come out until later, anyway.
23.
Ephron, the Biblical equivalent of a funeral director. A little bit of feigned compassion, and - boom - you cash in on 400 shekels of silver.
Of course, Abraham's descendants would get the last laugh a few hundred years later when the Canaanites are driven out of the Promised Land. I'm not one for karma, but God certainly knows what's up.
24.
Weird where a person had to put his hand to swear an oath back then. A handshake seems a little less awkward.
Rebekah: beautiful, virgin, hospitable, up for a good adventure...all good qualities in a godly wife.
25.
Notice that God is starting to establish a track record of hearing prayers and having mercy on barren wives. It's almost like we're dependant on Him for the blessing of procreation.
Ah, the infamous battle between daddy's boy and mama's boy. Jacob may have been the victor, but he definitely lost style points in the process.
Wow, 5 days, and we're half done with Genesis. We're cruising now!

Genesis 16 - Genesis 20 (Sin City)

16.

Polygamy in the Bible. I can't say I know why they were into it, but my conclusion is that it never ends well. It's almost like God's model for marriage is monogomy. Hmm...

Caution: Theological Sidetrack! If the Bible uses a husband and wife as a model for Christ and the Church, is polygamy, adultery, etc. equivalent to polytheism, idolatry, etc.? I'm thinking "yes." Kinda makes you take those vows pretty seriously, huh?

On a related note, taking things (things in this case being reproduction) into your own hands never ends well, either.

Every parent's dream is that their little boy would grow up to be a wild donkey of a man.

Has there ever been a micro-brew named "Lahoi Roi," after the well: Beer Lahoi Roi? This is something I think needs to happen.

17.

When God changes a name in the Bible, it means He's going to do big things through that person. Abram -> Abraham. Jacob -> Israel. Saul -> Paul. He does the same thing in baptism, when He gives us the name "Christian."

God's covenant people in the Old Testament: marked by circumcision. God's covenant people in the New Testament: marked by the sign of the cross in Holy Baptism. Baptism sounds better.

18.

Nothing is impossible with God. Oh, and God keeps all His promises. Every one of them.

Even in judgment against Sodom, God was gracious.

19.

I just watched a funny comedy sketch titled something like "Real Guys Don't Look Back at Explosions." It was a montage of tough guys in movies walking away from explosions and not looking back. Funny stuff. On a related note, if God tells you to go and not look back, don't look back. Just ask the pillar of salt (a.k.a. Lot's former wife).

By the way, the Bible is exhibit A of "truth is stranger than fiction." You can't make this stuff up.

It also doesn't work when daughters try to take things (again, reproduction) into their own hands. Also, no good things happen when you drink too much wine (or Lahoi Roi Beer, coming soon to a liquor store near you!). Examples so far: Noah and Lot.

I bet Lot never would have guessed that by getting drunk and impregnating his daughters, he was fathering the Moabites and Ammonites: two bitter enemies of Israel. Talk about repurcussions. Also a beginning step toward the Ray Stevens song: "I'm My Own Grandpa."

20.

Note to Abraham: the "she's my sister" thing is the worst strategy ever. Send it to the graveyard along with tight-rolling your jeans, parachute pants, and the "Flock of Seagulls" haircut. Seriously.

As you read Scripture, you will gain confidence in being used in God's Kingdom. He uses idiots like you and me all the time. Really.

He also uses really bad liars, though that doesn't mean He likes it. Being a liar has repurcussions, too.